Peace Corps just got a little harder.

My bestfriend in the Peace Corps is leaving Benin. What the hell do I do now??!! I just want to crawl in a hole and cry my eyes out. And after that, I want to break all the windows outside. And after that, I want to cuss her out for leaving me. But it's what's best for her. Not me. I can't type this. It hurts sooooooo bad right now. I'm crying my eyes out right now. I really don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how I'm going to manage without her. First it was Steffi and now Natalie. What the hell!!!!?? I'm DYING right now. I'm not handling this very well at all. I'm sure I'll be fine in a few weeks but in two days she will be gone. The wounds right now are still very fresh. I'm really hurting. Nobody can replace her. I would catch MALARIA if it could keep her here. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm going to do. I really just don't know. I hurt so bad right now. I don't know what else to say. I hate life sometimes. Why does it have to take my friend from me? I'm sorry everybody. I'm just really hurting. Later.